A Couple Of Women Jokes?
Filed in Category Jokes About Women
All in good fun, don’t get mad ladies lol.
Some of my favorite women jokes, enjoy!
-Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
-Why do men fart more than women?
Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
-Why haven’t any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn’t need cleaning yet
-What do you call the useless skin around a vagina?
A woman.
-How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
-Why do women live longer than men?
Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking their car.
-If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
-What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence?
Divorced
-One beautiful afternoon in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.”
“What’s the problem, Adam?” God replies.
“Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals. I appreciate all that you have given me, but I’m just not happy”, Adam answers.
“Why is that, Adam”, God asks.
“Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I have no one special to share it with and I’m lonely”, Adam explained to God.
“Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a woman for you”, God told him.
Perplexed, Adam asked, “What’s a woman, Lord?”
God replies, “This woman will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth.. She will cook and clean for you and do everything that you ask without ever complaining. She will provide every sexual need and fantasy you will ever think of and meet all of your sexual needs. She will bear your children and raise them without complaints. This woman will be the perfect companion for you.”
“Wow! That sounds great,” exclaimed Adam. “Where is she?”
“Not so fast,” said the Lord. “A woman this fantastic is going to cost you.”
“How much”, asked Adam.
“An arm and leg”, God replied.
Adam thought about this for a moment, then replied, “What can I get for a rib?”
And well, the rest is history..
5 Comments so far
haha,i found them all quite funny.
the best laugh ive had all day.
the last was my fav
I have to star this.
They are all lame. No laughs. And BTW women are found to be more intelligent than men in many studies. And don’t offend us. I know some pretty mean and vulgar guy jokes. None of the jokes actually are about things that women do. (ok well some freaky women are exceptions) and don’t bring God into it.
First of all i wanna say that women have my full respect but at the same time.
What do you say to a women with two black eyes?
Nothing that ***** has already been told twice
i know one ladies no offense
ok here gos
why do people make snow men instead of snow woman?
it takes to long to hollow out the head
The last one was funny, but the rest, I find offensive. Good thing my man doesn’t treat me like that.