A Few Lawyer Jokes Xx Funny Or Not Xxx?
Filed in Category Lawyer Jokes
Why does the Law society prohibit s*x between lawyers and their clients?
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service!
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off you when you die !
What’s the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog!
What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
What do lawyers and sp*rm have in common?
One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming human.
Lawyer’s creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.
You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer.
You have a gun with two bullets, what should you do?
Shoot the lawyer, twice !!
It was so cold around here last winter, (how cold was it?)
I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets !
What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
11 Comments so far
hahaha…those are great!!
a star for making me laugh! and maybe 10points for me!!?
what is 1000 lawyers on the ground of the sea?
a good beginning!
haha…funny
cool
Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent ones Chris.!!!
10/10.!!!
Bury all lawyers, lol.!!!
little funny here is mine
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
A command was given to a dog: “SPEAK!”
The dog said in return: “Not without my lawyer present!”
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.
Q: What?s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
ha ha ha funny
hahaha slayer 06 gave good ones also. Now there is big competition on here.
have just emailed this to my son who is a lawyer!
Great jokes. Very funny. Here’s one to add to your collection: How do you save a drowning lawyer? Take your foot off his head. I’ve got more where that came from.
Hilarious… skid marks in front of the dog… hilarious!