Any Jokes To Tell Me Thats “actually Humorous” ?

Filed in Category Humorous Jokes

i need jokes that are clean and must be humorous please(:
i need to ask people and see their facious reaction, im doing a science project to tell if people’s having a real smile or not. Please
i need at least 5 or 10.
THANK YOU
tell me asap !
:]

6 Comments so far

  1. MA Beast {The Rising Underdog} on October 5, 2009 9:03 am

    a joke that is clean…..good luck trying to find that buddy.

  2. Scott M on October 5, 2009 9:48 am

    Q: If a blonde and a brunette jump off a bridge, who would hit the water first?
    A: The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop to ask for directions.

    First Day
    God: “Whew! I just created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.”
    Angel: “What are you going to do now?”
    God: “I’m tired, let’s just call it a day.”

    Yo momma so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, “What a treasure!” and her father said, “Yes, let’s go bury it.”

  3. Josh M on October 5, 2009 9:52 am

    A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says “I have bad news and worse news. Which would you like to hear first?”
    The man says “Give me the bad news.”
    The doctor says “You only have 24 hours to live.”
    The man says “Then what’s the worse news!?”
    The doctor says “I forgot to call you yesterday.”
    A man gets a call from the hospital saying his wife was in a really bad car accident, so he rushes to the hospital. The doctor says “It was a terrible accident. Your wife will be crippled and paralyzed from the neck down. You’ll have to feed her, clothe her, bathe her, and change her because she no longer has any control over her bladder or bowels. You’ll have to provide 24-hour round the clock health care service of which your insurance is not going to cover…”
    And the man starts crying hysterically saying “This is horrible.”
    And the doctor says “I’m just kidding, she’s dead.”
    Where do you find a legless dog?
    Where you left it.
    A pirate ship is out on the ocean. The lookout comes down from his post and tells the captain that he sees another ship on the horizon. The captain says “Bring me my red shirt.”
    The lookout follows his order. When he gives him his shirt he asks “Why did you ask for your red shirt?”
    The captain answers “If I am wounded in battle no one will see and they will keep fighting.”
    The lookout says “Good thinking”, and goes back to his post.
    About 5 minutes later he comes back down and tells the captain that there are 25 more ships on the horizon. The captain replies “Bring me my brown pants.”

  4. my heart is in europe =) on October 5, 2009 10:28 am

    why does snoop dog carry an umbrella? – fo’ drizzle
    did you hear about the fire at the circus? – it was inTENTS
    what kind of house should stupid people live in? – a tudor
    where does the president keep his armies? – up his sleevies

  5. PRICELES on October 5, 2009 10:40 am

    http://www.cleanjoke.com/
    it has many funny jokes (all are clean)

  6. ? on October 5, 2009 11:11 am

    Why is 6 afraid of 7?
    7 is odd.
    My IQ test came back negative.



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