Are These The Funniest Clean Christian Jokes You Have Seen In A Century?
Filed in Category Christian Jokes
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
“Doctor, I have an ear ache.”?2000 BC – “Here, eat this root.”?1000 BC – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”?1850 AD – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”?1940 AD – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”?1985 AD – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”?2000 AD – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”
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A Minister was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked “What are you doing with that dog?”
One of the boys replied, “This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we’ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.”
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. “You boys shouldn’t be having a contest telling lies!” he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, “Don’t you boys know it’s a sin to lie,” and ending with, “Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie.”
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he’d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, “All right, give him the dog.”
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An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, “Stop – Acts 2:38!” (..turn from your sin…) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.”
“Scripture?” replied the burglar, “She said she had an AXE and two 38’s!”
9 Comments so far
HAHAHAHAH These are great,My pastor will love them. Thanks for posting these!!!!
An Axe and two 38’s FUNNNNNNNY!!!!!
Good thing that minister wasn’t walking with a politician. lol
Oh, loved the one on Acts 2:38, Great ones again.
I see you still attract the fundie fuddie duddies.
Lighten up and learn to laugh people, these are great.
GOD BLESS!
I haven’t seen jokes this funny since a MILLENIUM ago. I loved them all, especially the last one.
ya…religion is pretty funny
You are one funny lady. I love them all and the one with the old lady was great ’cause God’s Word never comes back without first putting fear into someone.
I love the one about Acts 2:38!!!
Laughed til my sides hurt!
wow! were do u get them? they r awesome!
cool
but im a christian
and you know not all
christians are like that