Do You Know Any Religious Jokes?…….knock Knock…(who’s There?)…the Atheist…(the Atheist Who?)…?
Filed in Category Religious Jokes
The atheist who ….Oh wait! Atheists don’t go knocking on people’s doors when they are trying to f***ing relax!!! Like my joke?
Do you know any other religious jokes?
7 Comments so far
Catholic School
Little Tommy’s parents had tried everything to help his math grade: tutors, flash cards, “Hooked on Math,” special learning centers, everything. Finally, they enrolled him in the local Catholic school.
The very first day, he came home with a very serious look on his face, went straight to his room, and started studying. His mother was amazed. Books and paper were spread out everywhere and Little Tommy was hard at work. As soon as dinner was through, he marched right back up to his room without a word and studied some more. This went on for weeks until Little Tommy proudly brought home his report card and showed it to his parents:
An A in Math! “Tommy! This is great! I’m so proud of you! Son, what was it? What helped motivate you? Was it the nuns?” Little Tommy shook his head.
“Well, then, was it the books? The discipline? The structure? The uniforms? What?” Little Tommy looked at her and said, “Well, Mom, it’s like this.
When I saw that guy out in the lobby nailed to a plus sign, I knew they weren’t screwing around!”
So God made Adam.
Adam walks around a bit and checks out creation.
God comes down and checks in on him.
“So how are things, Adam? You like creation?”
“Oh, it’s okay I guess, but it’s kinda lonely.”
God thinks for a moment.
“Tell you what. Give me that arm and that leg, and I’ll make you the most kind, beautiful, and understanding creature in all of creation that will complement you in every way.”
Adam thinks about it for a moment.
“What can I get for a rib?”
HIY-OH!
So God makes Eve and leaves the two “at it”.
Afterward God comes down to check in on things and he finds Adam sprawled out on a meadow with a big grin on his mouth.
“So, uh, Adam. How was it?”
“That was AWESOME!”
“Glad you liked it. I spent some time working on that one. So, uh, where’s Eve?”
“Oh, she’s by the river. Washing off.”
“OH SH*T!”
The clouds turned dark and thunder rolled as God fled down to the river.
When he got there he found Eve washing herself off and God grew very loud and angry.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”
Eve was startled.
“Wh-What? What did I do?”
“GREAT! NOW I’LL NEVER GET THE SMELL OFF THE FISH!”
HIY-OH!
Most religious beliefs are so freakin funny they don’t need jokes or parody. Just show them straight as they are.
knock knock.. who’s there? god… god who? a fictional character in a story.
God: Adam Where is Eve?
Adam: Swimming in the Lake
God: Great Now I will never get the Smell off the Fish
I know I know I am Gonna Burn for that OK I will say 10 Hail Mary’s and 202 Our Fathers
I would cut back on those pills.
eh…. it’s okay… made me smirk