4 Comments so far

1. HotMama on October 22, 2009 1:16 pm

   There was an older man that was married to a much younger woman, and he was having trouble lasting long enough in bed. So he went to the doctor and was told he should please himself before having sex and he would last longer. One day as 5 o’clock rolls around, he gets a call from his wife who says she’s very horny. On his way home, he remembers what the doctor said and decides to jerk it before he gets home. He thinks, “Well, I can’t do it in the car, but if I get under it I can pretend I’m fixing my car.” So he gets under the car, closes his eyes, and starts jerkin it. A few minutes later, there’s a tug at his pants leg. In order to keep the image of his beautiful wife, he doesn’t open his eyes, but just hollars, “Yeah?” “I’m Officer Brown. What are you doing down there?” “Well, officer, I’m checking my axle; I think it’s come lose.” “Well, mister, while you’re down there, you might wanna check your brakes; your car’s 2 blocks down the road crashed into a tree.”

2. dat kid jonathan on October 22, 2009 2:12 pm

   A woman goes into a pet store looking for a companion. She passes the puppies and kittens and rabbits, not finding anything she liked. The clerk asks what she’s looking for, and the woman says she’s lonely and wants a companion.
   The clerk says, “I have the perfect pet for you.” He brings the woman into a room where a frog sits in a container. The woman says, “Why would I want a frog?” The clerk tells her the frog can give her the best orgasms, all she has to do is take her clothes off, lay on the bed, set the frog between her legs and tap him on the forehead, so the woman buys the frog.
   The next day, the woman angrily brings the frog back to the pet store. “This frog didn’t do anything. I want my money back!”
   The clerk says he doesn’t know what is wrong and takes the woman and the frog into a room in the back.
   “Show me what you did,” the clerk tells the woman so she takes off her clothes, lays on the desk, spreads her legs, places the frog between her legs, taps him on the head, and the frog just blinks. The clerk reaches over and taps him on the head, but frog just sits there between the woman’s legs. The clerk kneels down, picks up the frog and says to the frog, “This is the last time I’m going to show you how to do this!”

3. JSMONTEL on October 22, 2009 2:49 pm

   Two hookers were walking the strip.
   Hooker No. 1, says , “Oh girl, I smell dick in the air, we gonna make some money tonight!”
   Hooker No. 2 rolls here eyes and replies, “Shut up *****, I just burped!”
   Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
   A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
   Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
   A: A quarter pounder with cheese

4. Just breathe. on October 22, 2009 3:40 pm

   Is the relationship between knife and my wife kind of a miss steak