Funny Clean Quotes And Jokes That I Havent Heard That I Can Put On My Binder?
Filed in Category Clean Jokes
I want some that will make people think for a second, or that are really funny, but not the jokes that everyone has heard. Or just little sayings that are funny or whatever. If there is any about skiing that would be great.
7 Comments so far
Two peanuts were walking down the s+treet and one was assaulted (a salted).
What kind of cheese is not yours???
Nacho cheese
Two men walked into a bar and the third man ducked.
Keep the earth clean, it’s not uranus. (I just heard that one today)
If at first you don’t succeed…losing may just be your style.
If you can’t spell a word, look it up in the dikshunary.
And there are always the funny questions.
Like
If you choke a smurf what color does it turn??
How do you draw a blank???
How do you know if you run out of invisible ink???
Can fat people go skinny dipping???
Why does your nose run and your feet smell???
Is a sleeping bull called a bulldozer???
Is a fly with no wings called a walk???
Do vegitarians eat animal crackers???
“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.” – Mae West
“The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“The Jersey mentality is: I work, I drink, I stay up all night, I try to meet a girl, it’s a waste of time.” – Gerard Way
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
Its not about skiing but i think it is cute.
Have a good day!
Okay, its lame but fun. A mushroom went to a nightclub, but got kicked out. in a fuss, he went up to the guard and said, “Whats wrong with me? I am no different!” The guard says, “We don’t like your type around here. So leave.” Then the mushroom says, “But people like me most of the time. I may be a bit yucky to look at, but i am a FUNGI” (as in fun guy.)
there were 3 men that got drunk last night and they met the next day with a story of how their night was
1st man said:i hijacked a dudes mercades
2nd man said:I shot a cop last night
3rd:man said:oh man I blew chunks in the bathroom all night!!
the 1st man and the 2nd man laughed at the 3rd mans story because it was so petty: wat the hell..thats it?
the 3rd man said:no no no dont you understand guys?…chunks is my dog!!!
(say it out laud)
what do you call a mexican with rubber toes?
Roberto
think of one! be creative!
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