Really Good Story Blonde Jokes?
Filed in Category Story Jokes
Me and my friend are doing a short film where we act out a couple of funny blonde jokes, the only problem is that we’re kinda out of blonde jokes. We’re looking for the story kind (NOT one liners) that would be kinda easy to do with only two people who can’t drive. They can’t be dirty either. Does anybody know any good story blonde jokes?
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This guy went to a bar and orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar but it hits a blond’s breast and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off the blonde.
Each time when he calls for a beer this happens. So after his third beer, he decides to help the bartender out. Next time the bartender hits her b~obs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts…AND SHE DECKS HIM!!!.
He’s laying on the floor moaning and groaning, “Jeez…then why do you let the bartender do it?”
Get ready…here it comes……… . .
“Because,” said the blonde, “he has a licker license!!”
I was going to tell the one BearsGoB did. That is one you could act out on film with the blond yelling “Potato” from inside a potato sack. Or you could try this; Show a blonde who keeps coming out of her house every few minutes to look inside her mailbox with a few people standing across the street having a conversation but at the same time noticing the blonde repeatedly checking her mailbox. Then, after the blonde checks three or four times, one of the people could say excuse me but why do you keep checking your mailbox? The blonde answers, A little box on my computer screen keeps saying I have new mail. Ikn, kinda corny but it gets a laugh.
Three girls were on the run from the cops – a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. During the subsequent high speed chase the red head spotted a potato farm and suggested that the girls should hide out there.
Once at the farm all three girls girls climbed into a potato sack. The cops came to the potato farm, looked around, but saw no sign of the girls. The sheriff started kicking potato sacks to see if maybe they were hiding.
The sheriff kicked the bag with the red head in it and she yelped “Bark Bark” so they thought it was a dog. He kicked another sack, this one with the brunette in it, and she said “Meow Meow” so they thought it was a cat. Finally, just as the sheriff was about to give up – he kicked one last bag, with the blonde inside, and heard “POTATO!”
How can you tell if you have a blond secretary? there is whiteout on the computer screen.====A blond goes to South Africa to buy a pair of alligator shoes== she goes into a little shop and asks how much are they? The shop keeper says they are $1400 dollars== She tells him forget she’ll get her own== About a week later the shop keeper sees her in a river waist deep in water with a shotgun shooting an alligator, as she pulls the alligator out of the water and throws it in a pile with a bunch of other dead alligators, she hollers “damn, this one isn’t wearing shoes either”
heres one: a blonde and her boyfriend go to a movie theater. At the snack line, she orders M&M’s. Then, she opens the bag and starts throwing away all the brown ones.
“Why are you throwing those away?” the boyfriend asked.
“Oh, because i’m allergic to chocolate,” says the blonde. hahaha get it?
heres another: a red head, a brunette, and a blonde find a magic mirror. the girls can say something to the mirror, and if its false, the mirror will suck them into it and if its true, it will leave them alone. so, the red head says “i think im the prettiest girl in the world” and it sucks her in. the brunette says “i think im the prettiest girl in the world” and it sucks her in. then, the blonde says “i think…” and it sucks her in. hehehe
Blonde jokes only exist because blonde is viewed as being attractive and attractiveness is associated with a lack of intelligence.
how do you drown a dumb blonde put a scratch and sniff a bottom of a pool
What’s a smart blonde called? A golden retriever
Returning home from work, a young blonde woman was shocked to find that her house had been ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash. The blonde woman ran out on the porch and shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog.
Then she sat down on the steps, put her face in her hands and moaned, “I came home to find all my possessions stolen. I called the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!”
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A blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics.
“So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 22!”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
“And can you tell us your height, please?”
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!”
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won’t have to count, measure, or lookup.
“Just to confirm for our records, your name please?”
The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “MANDY!”
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks – “What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?”
“Ohhhh, that!” replies the airhead… ” I was just running through that song – ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’ ”
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The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. “Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “what is 1 and 1?”
“Eleven,” she replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but she’s right.” “What two days of the week start with the letter ‘T’?”
“Today and tomorrow.”
He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
“Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?”
The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, “I don’t know.”
“Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”
So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. “It went great! First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”