What Are Some Good Jokes Marines Use To Make Fun Of The Army?
Filed in Category Marine Jokes
A platoon of Army Rangers are walking along a trail. Suddenly, at the top of a ridge, a lone Marine appears.
“You Rangers are lazy, worthless excuses for soldiers, you’re weak, your momma’s are weak…” and so on. Furious, the platoon leader sends two of his biggest, baddest Rangers up the hill. They hit the Marine, and tumble down to far side of the ridge. Sound of a terrible fight follow, then silence, then the Marine reappears seemingly untouched. He continues his diatribe against the Rangers.
The Ranger lieutenant orders his first squad up the hill. The eleven Rangers charge up, hit the Marine and go over the ridge. Trees topple, dust clouds rise, and the sounds of battle thunder. After the sounds die away, the Marine reappears, slightly dusty but no worse for wear. He just grins.
“KILL HIM!” The frustrated LT shouts, and the entire remaining platoon, 25 men, charge up. The mass vanishes over the rigge, and the earth shakes with the sounds of the fight. finally, calm returns and a single, bloody, battered Ranger crawls back over the hill.
“Private? What the hell happened?” asks the LT.
“Oh, sir, it was a trap!” the private sobs. “There were two of them.”
9 Comments so far
Not too many directed towards the army. However You did spark my curiosity beyond Gayvy Jokes, so i found this one that kind of puts down everyone !
In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness
among the military services, Congress has approved the
following changes to basic principles of recruit
training:
Haircuts:
Marines: Heads will be shaved.
Army: Stylish flat-top’s for all recruits.
Navy: No haircut standard.
Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny
Jones show.
Training Hours:
Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.
Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.
Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch
until 1300, train until 1600.
Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train
from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to
1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training
ceases at 1500.
Meals:
Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE’s.
Navy: 3 hot meals.
Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping
Gourmet, Julia Child, and Wolfgang Puck and Emeril
Lagasse. All you can eat.
Leave And Liberty:
Marines: None.
Army: 4 hours a week.
Navy: 2 days a week.
Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits
will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.
Protocol:
Marines: Will address all officers as “Sir,” and refer
to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to
them (i.e., Sgt. Smith).
Army: Will address all officers as “Sir,” unless they
are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel
“Sarge.”
Navy: Will address all officers as “Skipper,” and all
enlisted personnel as “Chief.”
Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first
name basis with each other.
Decorations/Awards:
Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of
gallantry and bravery only.
Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet
fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and
bed made.
Navy: Will have ships’ engineers make medals for them
as desired.
Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as
they will most likely be awarded them at some point
early in their careers anyway.
Camouflage Uniforms:
Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training
and in field situations.
Army: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not
camouflage you on a ship. (Ship Captains will make
every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)
Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage
uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and
colorful squadron patches all over them.
Career Fields:
Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen
first and foremost.
Army: It doesn’t matter, all career fields promote to
E-8 in first enlistment anyway.
Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure
out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do
anyway.
Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner
that will allow them to leave the service early to go
on to higher paying civilian jobs.
I will make a change to a Marine vs Navy joke.
A Soldier and a Marine are both using the Head/Latrine at the airport. The Marine zips up and walks towards the door. The Soldiers say’s ” Hey, the Army teaches us to wash our hands after taking a piss. The Marine turns with a puzzled look and say’s “The Marines teach us to not pee on our hands”! and leaves.
SFC Oliver is right. I don’t remember hearing one before Doug’s.
SSG US Army 73-82
Army Pukes love Squids, Jarheads, Zoomies and Coasties! They are our Brothers!
haha oh i love those..if only i could think of some..my fiancee is in the marines so i heard a few..hmm…seems like theres more navy ones though.
oh..”theres strong, then theres army strong…whats the difference?” lol..im bad at phrasing it though.but you get what i mean
They said us Army dogs had it all backwards:
YMRA SU
Yes, My Retarded A** Signed Up.
Marines are special people.
That picture posted by Jerry S is outstanding. I’m guessing PTRT.
I know more jokes on the Marines but then again I was in the Navy and we just love each other (Navy and Marines)
A picture is worth 1,000 words.http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=ra68p4&s…
Why would the Marines want to make fun of it’s retarded, deformed weak brother? That’s not very nice.
There are no jokes that Marines tell about the Army.
Army: Ain’t Ready to be Marines Yet