Would You Like Some Humorous Jokes About First Time Parents?
Filed in Category Humorous Jokes
My wife is pregnant
A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” the doctor queries.
“No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her *husband*!”
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The pre-birth class
When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child.
The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:
“Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.’”
One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook???”
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Pass out in shock
The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.
Someone dialed 911.
When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.
“It was enough to make anybody faint,” he said. “My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower.”
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Have a first child
A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child.
After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink.
The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was.
In very tiny letters, the stamp said, “When you can read this, come back and see me.
8 Comments so far
I loved the last one the most.
My wife and I are thinking about trying for our third child…we still do want a boy after all.
So maybe I will have to run the second joke by her, too!
OMG!! LMAO!! hilarious!!
Funny
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
That last one is hilarious. LOL
That’s funny.
OMG ROFL this was funny the last two were my favorite lol
LOL i love the first two but the second is my favorite!